Re: Manifesto_overview

[terry@albert.animats.net]

On 30 Sep, David Lawyer wrote:

> Here are my proposed changes for the first section of the LDP
> manifesto.  As compared to the copyright/license section, this part is
> easy (-:  You will note that I've expanded the scope of LDP somewhat.

David,
A first reading leaves me feeling positive.

One small point:

(last paragraph)

> * an informed consensus.  Our organization helps avoid the duplication
> * of effort that would occur if two persons (unknown to each other) were
> * to write on the same topic.

This last sentence seems to muddy the theme of the last paragraph. I'm
unclear as to whether you're citing an example of dispute resolution or
whether you are stating an LDP process/function.

It feels to me like it needs a "For example, ", or that it should be
moved forward to an earlier paragraph.

regards
Terry

-- 
terry@albert.animats.net, terry@linux.org.au



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